rachel’s blog

Do you want to lose weight quickly? Are you tired of fad diets? Hate to exercise?* Now you can forget about all of the advertisements you’ve seen for expensive pills, drinks, herbs, and other magical potions. I have the PERFECT rapid weight-loss solution for you… and it won’t cost you a dime!

Individuals who qualify and successfully complete the program are GUARANTEED to lose weight QUICKLY! In fact, just this afternoon, it took me a mere SIX minutes to drop one pound. Sound too good to be true? It’s not. The program is called… BLOOD DONATION! :o)

In the amount of time it takes you to give away one pint of whole blood, you can lose ONE POUND! It’s that simple — and there are NO gimmicks or hidden fees. While this INNOVATIVE program only guarantees short-term results, you can participate as often as EVERY 56 DAYS! The friendly staff at your local blood donation center will help you determine whether YOU qualify for this rapid weight loss program.

WARNING: Side effects may include free cookies, a bandaid (or two), and a warm fuzzy feeling. Participants must be at least 17 years old, weigh over 110 pounds, and be in general good health. Additional restrictions may apply. Contact the Red Cross or your local blood donation center for more details.
___________________
* Just for the record: I don’t want to lose weight quickly, I don’t do fad diets, I like to exercise, and this advertisement was NOT paid for by either the American Red Cross or Virginia Blood Services…