Archive for February, 2008

Bienvenido a Wal-Mart

I don’t know if his name is actually George… or if he just looks like a George. He’s a tall man with glasses, a comb-over, and a blue Wal-mart employee vest. If you shop at the same Wal-mart I do, you’ve probably seen him working as a greeter, managing the shopping carts, tagging items to be returned, and wishing people a good night.

This evening I saw George at the library. He and another man were sitting in the area where the large-print books are shelved, having a not-so-quiet conversation. I was surprised to see him out of the usual context, but I was even more surprised to hear that their conversation was not in English. It may have been French, but I couldn’t quite tell.

I immediately remembered another Wal-mart employee I interacted with last summer. I was in the fabric department picking out material to make a skirt, and the employee working there looked like a typical cute, gray-haired, Caucasian granny. As she was cutting the fabric for me, two women walked up to the counter to ask a question. They were Hispanic and spoke in broken English, and I half expected the employee to talk loudly when she responded (as if that would help). To my surprise, she responded in Spanish. I struck up a conversation with her (in English) and learned that she speaks four languages.

Shame on me for assuming that older, white Wal-Mart employees are not multilingual.


Add comment Thursday, February 28, 2008

is she checking for a pulse?

baa.jpg

Hey kids! Here’s your chance to spend some “special time” hanging out with a dead sheep!


Add comment Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Garbage!

Tonight was one of those nights when I was proud to be a resident of the City of Harrisonburg. (If my last name were Obama, someone would probably rake me over the coals for that comment.) This wasn’t the first time I’ve been proud to live here, and I’m sure it won’t be the last… unless everything cool that is happening in the Friendly City suddenly comes to a screeching halt.

About a month ago I managed to join an email listserv for a newly-formed Documentary Group, which is organizing local screenings and discussions of documentary films. Tonight I was able to attend for the first time, and was pleasantly surprised to see so many people there. Even the mayor showed up to watch “Garbage! The Revolution Starts at Home,” in which the McDonald family in Toronto agreed to save their garbage for three months to see how much they generated. Their humor provided a good balance for the sobering realities about garbage, pollution, and energy use in North America.


Add comment Monday, February 25, 2008

Mardi Gras, penguins, and John McCain

If a young woman wearing Mardi Gras beads tells you she found a penguin standing on her doorstep, just smile and nod… unless, of course, that woman is me.

Mardi Gras ended more than a week ago, but I didn’t put any beads around my neck until today. I was out of town for a few days attending a professional conference, and during breakfast this morning we received a rather festive invitation to next year’s conference in New Orleans. When I returned home late this afternoon after dropping off my boss at his house, there was a penguin on my doorstep.

The only beverages I drank today were grapefruit juice, water, and a smoothie from Sonic. I promise.

The penguin just stood there staring at me. It was quite small and terribly cute, and as I picked it up to take a closer look, I determined that it was a very rare species — perhaps one of only a few papier-mâché penguins in the world.

I still had no idea where this four-inch penguin had come from or why it was standing on my doorstep, but I hoped to hear an explanation in one of my five voicemail messages. The voicemail from John McCain didn’t help, nor did the one from a credit card company. Finally I heard the voice of a super-creative friend of mine, informing me that the penguin was a party invitation.

Unlike a traditional piñata, I decided to open this one by carefully cutting a small hole in the bottom with a knife. Out came all kinds of goodies — paper snowflakes, chocolate in various forms, white and clear beads (snowball look-alikes), and an invitation to “follow the penguin to a snow party.”

penguin.jpg

We’ll either be celebrating the snow on the ground or wishing that snow would fall (probably the latter). Either way, with an invitation as fun as this, who would want to miss the party?!


1 comment Wednesday, February 13, 2008

101 in 1001: a one-year update

Yesterday marked one year since I started my “101 Things in 1001 Days” project. I’m sure most of you don’t check my list every day to see whether I’ve completed something in the past 24 hours, so here’s a quick run-down.

Things completed: 44
Things I’m still working on (or procrastinating on): 56
Things I gave up on: 1
Number of people I inspired to make a list: 2

A few details:

9. Host 101 people in my home — but not all at the same time! I’m up to 86… and I haven’t run out of people yet. If you’re a friend of mine who’s reading this and you haven’t been to my house in the past year, watch out — you might be next.

36. Marry an amazing man. I managed to check off item #16 (’Go on a date’), but I don’t seem to be making much progress on this one yet. Today I had a conversation with a middle-aged woman that went something like this:

Her: “Are you dating anyone?”
Me: “I’m not.”
Her: “Do you… [long, awkward pause] Would you like to be married?”

I responded with the typical mumbo-jumbo about how I’m waiting for the right guy to come along. You’d think I would have come up with a wittier response by now.

39. Learn and memorize a song on the piano that sounds like it should be played in a hotel lobby. Nobody would play the Peanuts theme song in a hotel lobby, would they?

65. Grow my hair long enough that I could donate it if I chose to. I gave up.

91. Be able to play guitar with worship music. I took guitar lessons during my last semester of college using a borrowed instrument. That was eight years ago. Since then I purchased a cheap guitar from a friend, but I rarely practice. Every time I pick up the guitar, I play a G chord, followed by D… and before you know it, I’m playing “Puff The Magic Dragon” again. Sketchy.

96. Have a neighbor over for dinner. I live on a rather crowded street, so I have lots of neighbors. In November, a family moved into the vacant house across the street. I was sick in bed with strep throat at the time, so I didn’t go over to meet them right away. Even after I recuperated, I never took the time to walk across the street to introduce myself and welcome them to the neighborhood. (I did try to Christmas carol there in December, but they weren’t home, so I just left a bag of cookies with my name and house number.)

As I glanced through the obituaries one day last week, I happened to notice that one of the deceased had lived at the house across the street. When I returned home from work that evening, I walked across the street to give my condolences to the man’s fiancee. We talked for a bit and I prayed with her, but I didn’t stay long. She will likely be the person who helps me cross off Thing 96.

And then there are a few things that I wish I hadn’t added to my list in the first place, but we won’t talk about those right now…


2 comments Saturday, February 9, 2008

sunshine and bird poop

It may not be the most earth-friendly action, but every day I drive the 1.6 miles between my workplace and my house just to eat a quick lunch. I spend a majority of the daylight hours in a windowless office, so it feels good to get outside for at least a little. Going home for lunch also gives me the opportunity to see the sunshine streaming through the windows of my cute house, and I’m convinced it helps prevent Seasonal Affective Disorder.

But today I was busy engaging my senses (my Lenten practice) long before lunchtime. When that infernal alarm clock started beeping this morning, I discovered that my sense of touch was compromised. My hands were numb and tingly. Either I slept on them wrong or I’ve been eating too much citrus. On the way out the door I grabbed the weekly bag of trash from my kitchen trash can to set by the curb. It didn’t smell too bad, but my nose still noticed it. As I drove to work, I saw the smiling face of our undergraduate academic dean as she passed me in a rather large pickup truck.

Hours later, as I was walking to my car to go home for lunch, I heard the wind rustling dry oak leaves that never fell from the tree, and I marveled at the white clouds in the baby blue sky. I expected to fully enjoy the beauty of God’s creation as I drove, but I became distracted by the car in front of me. The speed limit was 25, but the driver was going 22 (and occasionally hitting the brakes). After we stopped at a stop light, the burgundy Taurus crawled along at a staggeringly-slow 18 MPH. The only part of God’s creation I noticed as I drove was the green bird poop on my windshield.

At home this evening I savored a bowl of vegetable soup and a brownie as I listened to the banter of the nine teenagers around my dinner table.

The Lenten discipline of engaging my senses also means paying attention to the warm tears that slid down my cheeks tonight as I wrote a short email to my mom. Jesus experienced disappointment. And Jesus wept too.


Add comment Thursday, February 7, 2008

giving up my deadened senses

“There is no better way to cheer up a dreary February day than to have a pot of dried beans simmering on the stove.”

Yikes. It sounds like the author of these words doesn’t get out much.  I have a pot of beans simmering on the stove as I write this, and I don’t feel any cheerier than I did an hour ago. Then again, I wasn’t feeling down.

The statement I quoted was the opening line of a no-nonsense article about beans I found in our local newspaper this morning. If you read between the lines, you’ll find that the registered dietitian is hinting at something far more significant than little legumes. If your outlook on life matches the typically blah February weather, engage your senses. Allow your nose to be delighted by the aroma of soup wafting through the house. Choose foods that your taste buds will truly enjoy.

Yesterday I attended a fantastic Shrove Tuesday worship service in which we celebrated our senses. Brightly-colored streamers, fingerpainting, incense, donuts, and glorious music helped us to fully engage our God-given senses of sight, touch, smell, taste, and hearing as we worshiped our Creator. (I opted to engage my sense of touch by playing piano instead of fingerpainting.)

Rarely do we engage our senses in such a dramatic way within a worship setting. The worship leader joked that perhaps we should give up our deadened senses for Lent. I decided to take her seriously.

Like many others, I have typically given something up for Lent, and it has been a very meaningful practice for me. My small sacrifices during Lent have been daily reminders of the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made. This year, however, in giving up my deadened senses, I’m actually taking on a spiritual practice: engaging my God-given senses. As I pay attention to the things I see, hear, smell, touch, and taste, I am not only drawn into worship, but I am reminded of Christ’s humanity. What did Christ see, hear, smell, touch, and taste during the weeks leading up to His death?

The first sense I engaged this morning was hearing. My alarm clock was persistent. I crawled out of bed, walked downstairs, and listened as my bare feet shuffled across the hardwood floor. Outside, birds were singing. As I opened the front door to pick up the newspaper, I felt warm air on my bare arms. It didn’t feel like February outside, but I wasn’t complaining.

Before I sliced a grapefruit in half, I held it in my hands for a few moments, pressing gently against the smooth, almost rubbery skin. Later, as I brushed my teeth, I paid attention to the view out my bathroom window — a white church steeple and the dark wood of a bare tree against a backdrop of blue mountains and a gray sky.

I don’t have any windows in my office, but I’m thankful that one of my colleagues opened her window, allowing me to smell the fresh out-of-doors while I worked at my desk. After lunch, as I returned to the office, I saw my shadow appear on the sidewalk in front of me. Sunshine!

This evening as I was driving to an event at church, I glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw less pavement between my car and the Dodge Durango behind me than I would have liked. A few miles down the road, I was surprised to see colored Christmas lights. (Maybe the owners of the house left them up for Mardi Gras…) As I pulled into the parking lot, I caught a whiff of a skunk. A few minutes later, I heard a small blonde-haired boy say “Peekaboo!” to me as he jumped out from behind an easel.

Have you ever imagined Jesus tasting fresh fruit? Or seeing His shadow? Or smelling a malodorous animal?

Lent isn’t really supposed to be enjoyable, but this year I don’t care. I’m having too much fun celebrating my God-given senses.


2 comments Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Carb Tuesday

pancakes.jpgIt’s a good thing I never aspired to be a food photographer, because I’m not patient enough to work on honing my skills. When there’s a stack of piping hot pancakes sitting in front of me, drizzled with pure maple syrup, I want to eat them, not take pictures of them.

But this wasn’t your average plate of flapjacks. This was a mini-celebration of Fat Tuesday, Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Fastnacht Day, Carnival, or whatever you choose to call the day before Lent begins. Unlike the revelry in New Orleans, Rio de Janeiro, and other cities around the world, my celebration was ridiculously low-key. I worked all day and had class in the evening, so I couldn’t even squeeze in a fun dinner with friends. Pancakes to the rescue!

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I ate breakfast foods for all three meals today. Pancakes are one of the foods traditionally eaten on Shrove Tuesday, so I whipped up a tiny batch for lunch and another tiny batch for dinner. That’s a salad plate in the picture, not a dinner plate.

Nevertheless… Happy Carb Day!


Add comment Tuesday, February 5, 2008

here’s your sign

“Is it as riveting as I imagine it would be?”

Adam’s question arrived via email, poking good-natured fun at my field of professional quasi-expertise. Grades and GPAs may not make for stimulating dinnertime conversation, but the Registrar’s Office isn’t as dull as one might think.

The students, on the other hand…

This afternoon I answered a call on the main phone line at work while our receptionist was out of the office. The caller told me that she had recently requested that we send a copy of her official transcript to her in a sealed envelope. (It is standard practice in higher education to send an official transcript in a sealed envelope with a signature or stamp across the sealed flap. I rarely process transcripts, but I do know that accommodating her request wouldn’t have required anything unusual.)

The woman informed me that when the transcript arrived, it was not in a sealed envelope as she had requested. (Really?) She went on to say that the outer envelope had been sealed, but when she opened it up, she found that the transcript hadn’t been placed in a sealed envelope.

Um, lady? You know that envelope you opened? The one with the Registrar’s signature stamped across the flap in blue ink? The one with the words “Official Transcript Enclosed” printed on the front? The one with your transcript inside? That WAS the sealed envelope you requested…

Here’s your sign.


1 comment Monday, February 4, 2008

an apology from Rachel’s phone

To whom it may concern:

As Rachel’s phone, I wish to apologize to those of you who may have tried to call her during the past eight hours. I deceived you by giving you a busy signal, but in truth, I have simply forgotten how to fully disconnect calls.

If you’re a telemarketer, she didn’t want to talk to you anyhow. If you wanted to get together with her this evening, she already had plans. If you’re tall, dark, and handsome, please call back tomorrow.

My grandma will be happy to connect you.

red-phone.jpg

Sincerely,
Rachel’s phone


Add comment Saturday, February 2, 2008


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