rachel's blog

:: FRIDAY EVENING ::

Having made it through the most difficult part of the weekend — choosing a paint color, I find myself at the paint counter at Lowe’s. I give the paint chip and two gallons of paint to one of the people wearing a red vest. As I wait for the paint to be mixed, another employee walks behind the counter and asks if I’m being helped.

“I am,” I say, “but I do have a question. What’s in the box marked ‘Feather Pickers’?” I point to a cardboard box behind him.

“I have no idea!” he says with a laugh.

He walks over and looks in the open box. “Caulk.”

“Oh. Right. Of course…” I say with mock understanding.

:: SATURDAY MORNING ::

I finally get my garden planted. I still think it’s a miracle that a seed + dirt + light + water = vegetables.

:: SATURDAY LUNCHTIME ::

A nearby church is hosting a community Fun Fair, so I stop by to get a pork BBQ sandwich for lunch. I approach the serving area, but can’t seem to figure out where I’m supposed to place my order and pay. A man wandering around near me appears to be struggling with the same thing. I ask someone behind the tables where the line begins (“Right here!” she says) and tell the enthusiastic woman that I’d like just the sandwich (i.e., not the full meal with coleslaw and whatever else).

The man behind me tells her that he would like just the sandwich too.

“That’s odd,” I think to myself. Usually the second person in line waits to place their order until after the first person has paid. I tell myself that he was probably just trying to be helpful so that the people serving could prepare two sandwiches at once and be more efficient.

“That’ll be seven dollars,” the woman with the moneybox says.

“Oh! We’re not together,” I say.

Next time this happens (which will be never), I won’t bother to correct the misunderstanding. Instead, I will put on my best “wow, I’m flattered by your generosity” face, say “thank you” to the person behind me, and move on down the line. If you’re a young, single man and you don’t want to pay for my lunch, then you shouldn’t place your order before I’ve paid for mine!

:: SATURDAY EVENING ::

After mowing my yard, I stand on the sidewalk and chat with my old/new neighbors. They have recently moved back to the area after living elsewhere for a few years. He tells me that they have bought his dad’s shoe repair business, which is one of two here in town. I express surprise that there is enough demand for shoe repair, and ask whether this is his sole occupation. He catches the pun before I do.

:: SUNDAY MORNING ::

I visit a church that I’ve never been to before. It’s more formal and, well, gray-haired than I expect. The first song we sing is a praise-and-worship song — accompanied with the organ and directed like a hymn. This oughta be good.

While the pastor preaches about the Pharisees, the image being projected onto the wall behind him suddenly switches to one of a cow in a grassy field. No one else appears to find this funny. A minute later, while I’m still trying not to smirk, he makes a reference to animals. Before long, the projected image is of a man standing on the edge of a cliff. The minor reference in the sermon doesn’t come ’til later. Just before the final prayer at the end of the service, we were treated to a picture of a cute puppy.

PowerPoint FAIL.

:: SUNDAY AFTERNOON ::

The woman sitting next to me at a dance recital thinks it is appropriate to talk during the performance. It is not. There is one empty chair between us, and I am not above giving withering looks, albeit in the mostly-dark auditorium. She also finds it necessary to get up and leave three times during the performance. Each time when she returns, she says, “Excuse me, sorry” at full volume. I regret choosing a seat near her.

:: MONDAY MORNING ::

While running errands and doing some shopping, I decide to stop in at Barnes & Noble to see if I can find an excuse to spend a gift card. I sit and page through some cookbooks while a man and his four(?)-year-old son browse the shelves and then also sit down to read. The adorable little boy wants his daddy to read to him. He makes this request four times in about 20 minutes and is refused each time. I miss my nephews and feel sorry for the bored kid, so I offer to read to him. I then realize that he is looking at a book from either the home improvement or creative arts section. Not so much a children’s story. The daddy takes the hint and decides that it’s time to go to the children’s section.

Quite a while later, I get up to leave. I see that the boy and his daddy are also walking towards the front of the store. The daddy isn’t wearing a wedding band. Was he wearing one before? Your guess is as good as mine.

I suddenly become very interested in the computer books I am walking past.

:: MONDAY NIGHT ::

Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow?