Need a haircut? Grab your headphones, close your eyes, and listen to the sounds of this Virtual Barbershop. The audio is so incredibly realistic that I could almost believe Manuel and Luigi were walking around in my house. I’m not exaggerating — it’s amazing!

By the way, the Starkey Cetera is a hearing aid. If I ever suffer from significant hearing loss, I’m getting one!

This is what we looked like 28 years ago. I think I’ve changed more than you have, Mom.

And this is what my Mother’s Day artwork looked like a few years later…

Contrary to what you might think, the blue letters in the bottom right corner do not spell “MY MOM.” I was trying to write “MOMMY,” but I obviously ran out of room. Oops! Nothing like a little creative problem-solving!

When I walked into my office at 8:00 this morning, I found an unusual gift on my desk.

Clever, eh? It’s from my boss. I’ve been working on a big project and there is a major deadline tomorrow, so the past couple weeks have been pretty intense. The good news? There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

The bad news? It’s off.

I always love a bargain, especially when it seems like the price of pretty much everything is going up. And a good deal is extra good when it comes as a complete surprise.

Occasionally I stop in at a funky little grocery store on my way home from work. It’s mostly a surplus-type store, but they also sell cheap, fresh, sometimes-semi-local produce. It’s run by a Ukrainian family and has a very straightforward name: “Save and Prosper.” The store isn’t far from my house, so yesterday afternoon I went there to buy an 89-cent avocado and a big 69-cent bunch of cilantro.

While the cashier was ringing up my items, she looked at me and said something I didn’t understand.

“What was that?” I asked.

She held the avocado in one hand while she pointed towards the produce and said… something. I had no idea if she was speaking English or Ukrainian, but she was clearly waiting for a response from me, so I raised my eyebrows and blinked. Brilliant, Rachel.

What happened next is still a mystery to me. The cashier walked over to the produce, picked up another avocado, and brought it back to the cash register. She only charged me for one of the avocados, but I guess she wanted me to have two. I thanked her, she told me to have a good day, and that was that.

Other good things in my weekend:

* holding beautiful five-day-old Madison Esther.

* walking to the farmer’s market with Lisa.

* enjoying fajitas, guacamole, and limeade on Rebecca’s deck.

* falling asleep last night… in spite of the rap music that someone else in the neighborhood was enjoying.

* seeing a “Beautiful British Columbia” license plate in the church parking lot… and remembering my vacation in BC last summer.

* bowling in a smoke-free bowling alley.

Dear birds of the neighborhood,

My car is not a toilet.

Sincerely,
the driver of the red Subaru Outback

This morning at 10:39, the semester suddenly ended.

Last night I had stayed up late to put the finishing touches on my final paper, which was due this evening. Then this morning I received an email saying that this evening’s class was being canceled because the professor was sick. Just like that, another semester of seminary was over. I had been looking forward to the satisfaction of handing my paper to the professor, as well as listening to the final two student presentations, so it was rather anticlimactic.

BUT… I have now completed 40% of my master’s degree!

At church this morning, I found out where I would be having dinner this evening. Yes, “found out.” I knew that someone would arrive at my house to carpool, and I knew that I was supposed to provide fruit for five people, but I didn’t know whose house we would be going to until I checked my mailbox at church this morning. They call this “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” and it’s a fun way to get to know people with whom you don’t typically socialize.

When 4:30 rolled around, my doorbell rang, and I discovered who I was carpooling with. He had also been told to bring fruit for five. Oops. I guess there could be worse mix-ups than two bowls of fruit salad and no dessert. When we arrived at our destination, our hosts were clearly expecting a total of 10 guests, so I guess the coordinators hadn’t been confused after all. A family of four soon arrived… with dessert!

We enjoyed delicious taco soup, bread, and two very different fruit salads for dinner, and topped it all off with chocolate cake and ice cream. The evening was filled with good conversation and plenty of laughter, partially because of the antics of this kid.

If your church has never done a “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” event, I’d definitely recommend it. And if you’ve never seen the 1967 Academy Award-winning film by the same title, I’d highly recommend it as well.

When I arrived at a retirement celebration for a colleague this afternoon, the middle-aged woman serving the cake flashed me a smile and greeted me as if she knew me. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t think who she was, so I just said a breezy hello. As I waited for the line at the food table to move forward, she leaned towards me and said, “You look really pretty today!”

Um, thanks. Today was one of the rare days that I decided to wear jeans to work, so I was actually dressed down, not up. She must have thought I was someone else — probably a student.

“I’m sorry,” I confessed. “I don’t think I know who you are.”

“I’m Nancy! We met one day in the library and talked for a while!”

Nancy. Aha. Now I realized who she was. We had been briefly introduced to each other at a meeting six weeks ago, but that was the extent of our interaction. We certainly didn’t have a conversation in the library.

“Really?” I said. “I think you must be thinking of someone else.”

“No, it was you — I’m really good at remembering faces.”

That’s interesting. So am I. I started to say something about where we met, but she was too busy reminding me that “we chatted in the library!” I should have introduced myself and explained which department I work in, but it was easier to simply end the conversation and let her think I’m a student.

A pretty student.

Like most bloggers, I love getting comments… especially when they end up on the post for which they were intended. Occasionally, however, a comment attaches itself to the wrong blog entry, and some of you have wondered what you’re doing wrong.

It’s Not Your Fault.

It’s not my fault either… at least not directly. Until last night, I had absolutely no explanation for this bizarre behavior. In digging around the WordPress forums, however, I discovered that this comment quirk is a known bug in the particular theme I had been using for my blog. WordPress hosts this blog for FREE, so I have limited control over the design of my site, and can only select themes from a gallery. Since I want comments to function properly, I had no choice but to switch to a different theme.

Some themes allow custom header images, such as the dominoes you used to see. Today I switched to a new theme (so long, Tarski!) and created a new look. I even chose a title for my blog… finally! Today I like it, but tomorrow I might decide it’s too silly, so if it changes soon, don’t be surprised. My blog, my rules.

During my sophomore year of college, a friend who lived on my hall brought me a get-well gift one day when I was sick with the flu. The gift was a pineapple with a hand-written note that read, “If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what would a pineapple do?” Thanks, Deb.

Last evening I updated my Facebook status to read:

Rachel needs a sheep. The grass in her front yard is getting tall.

For those of you not familiar with Facebook, a status is simply a frequently-updated tidbit of information about yourself, always written in the third person. I live near the heart of downtown, so my property is obviously not zoned for agriculture, but after struggling to mow my yard this evening, I am fully convinced that buying a sheep would have been easier.

OK. This is how normal people mow grass: they get out the shiny red or green lawnmower, top off the tank with fresh gasoline, yank the pull-cord a few times (or perhaps turn the key), generate a ridiculous amount of noise pollution while cutting the grass, and then go back inside for an ice-cold beer. Maybe if I followed their example, it wouldn’t have taken me so long to mow my yard tonight.

I own a shiny red lawnmower, but I haven’t used it in almost four years. My renters used it while they were living in my house, which was great, but before they moved out and I moved back in, I purchased a push-reel mower at a yard sale. It’s lightweight, quiet, and doesn’t burn fuel, so the shiny red mower has just been sitting in my basement since last June. The push-reel mower works very well when the grass is a nice, reasonable length.

But it wasn’t.

I hadn’t mowed the grass yet this spring, so it was getting quite tall. I decided that it was time to get out the shiny red mower. It wouldn’t start. This is when the idea of lawnmower spirituality began to develop… I went ahead and mowed the back yard with the push-reel mower, but I knew that it wouldn’t like the thick, tall grass in the front yard. So as I listened to the whirr of the mower blades cutting the normal-height grass in the back yard, I prayed a sort of panicked prayer.

When it was time to mow the front yard, I fiddled with the shiny red mower again. No luck. (God, please!) OK, fine. I decided to TRY the front yard with the push-reel mower. To say that it was challenging would be an  understatement. (God, give me strength!) I was tired, I was hungry, and I was frustrated. (God, where is Mr. Right when I need him?)

I was tempted to give up on the whole thing, but I still maintained hope that the shiny red mower would roar to life, so I fiddled with it some more and tried again. (God, pleeeeease let the mower start.) The blasted thing refused to start. My front yard was half mowed and looked terrible, so I had no choice but to persevere with the push-reel mower. (God, please don’t let my neighbors think I’m an idiot.)

Pride is a funny thing. Pride is what kept me going when I was tempted to give up. I was far too proud to quit and admit defeat, and I even started rehearsing how I might turn down a neighbor’s offer to help. At the same time, my pride wanted me to put the stupid push-reel mower away, go inside, and maintain my dignity. I felt like a fool out there.

If you think I’m going to end the story by saying that a Hispanic man named Jesús showed up and mowed my lawn for me, you’re going to be terribly disappointed. Nothing extraordinary happened. I finally finished mowing the yard and vowed that I would never again let it get out of control! You might think this sounds crazy, but now that my yard looks like a neatly manicured golf course (or something like that…), I’m actually thankful that I had to struggle with the push-reel mower.

If the shiny red mower had worked like I wanted it to, I wouldn’t have thought to talk to the Creator of the grass.